I feel like my entire life I have been the daughter who has had to keep it together. The daughter who if showing just an ounce of weakness was told to straighten up and stop crying. I feel like I tried to condition myself from feeling pain because I was constantly walking through it and in it.
I am 22 years old and a little over a month towards being 23. I didnt get into PT school and for me it was a huge devastation although my mother told me I had to hold it together and figure out the next option. So I applied to PTA school and got in but I came home and my mom told me maybe I should finically wait and so I did.
Now I am in a dead end job and everyone is leaving. These past two days I have sat in my house and was only called upon when needed. I feel like as if my family has gotten lose in the struggles of the world and forget what being a family was. All i hear out of my step-father anymore is an occasional hello and my mother just seems to tell me what I need to do and not support me. While my little sister thinks that she is my boss and my older sister is constantly telling me that she is so glad her kids have me to look up to.
While, I sit here and silently scream I dont hear a "How can I help you?" a, "What's goin' on" instead I cry. I havent cried or attempted not to grow a lot while growing up and now all I can do is cry.
I am a Christian and I know that God is with me and that things will play out for the best but im tired of people rejoicing when I am doing great things but not giving two craps when I am in a bind.
However, I am gonna look at this as braving this storm and in return I know there will be a rainbow and a few minutes of happiness.
I am just so sick of no one hearing me and yet I always hear everyone elses cry....SO WHY MUST I DO THIS ALONE?
