Looking for Alaska by John Green...A book review with a twist

If I haven't expressed it enough I am a uber nerd. I've battled a love and hate relationship with reading well because when your younger its so cool and then it becomes not so cool. However, no in my life I wish I had more time to read.
I stumbled across a quote a little over a year ago, it caught my attention perhaps because the signatures in my works is rain .. In my first two, it signified a danger, and eminence of doubt and despair and at the time writing those rain had lost its beauty to me. Whereas, now a days rain usually signifies the rebirth or resurgence of something. This quote comes from John Greens book looking for Alaska which I devoured in a mere five hours, it goes "If people were rain, I was the drizzle and she was the hurricane."

What a blissfully wonderful phrase. I personally find the connection due to my friends relating me to sometimes acting such as a hurricane. In moments of the book, I felt like Alaska and some parts I felt like Pudge(aka Miles). I related to Alaska in a sense of her feelings regarding her actions to a tragic event. Also, I have been trying to create a Life Library of books to read and like Alaska I think I've saved every paper I have ever written.

However, I feel like Miles a lot. I had few friends growing up. I don't really know how to classify where I fell in regards to high school cliques. Like him I had a small circle of close friends, one being a girl named Linsey. Unlike Miles I didn't have a physical attraction to Linsey but I loved her as if she was my sister. As the book goes on, Miles realizes that after his life tragic event that things will continue to fall apart and that memories will eventually do the same.

I remember feeling the exact emotions shear days after Linsey passed away and they mirror almost perfectly to the way Miles felt after losing Alaska. I remember the fear of forgetting how she laughed, the kind of shampoo or perfume she used, I feared always having to do things alone.

While Miles went to Culver Creek to find his Great Perhaps, I feel like Miles found a greater appreciation to life. That while both Love and Friendship is often the most grazed by currency of life, Miles realized that there was hope in having friends and although he was never sure if Alaska loved him back, he could rest assured that their friendship was "to be continued."

As a writer I find it vital to dive into others stories. I commended John Green for the excellent work of fiction he produced and love how in the back he mentions creating characters similar to people he knows because I do that also.

I recommend everyone read this novel. It is probably more gauged to teenage kids but its lessons that you can recall and remind yourself of.  Like Miles, I suppose I let part of my life slip after Linsey died because I was looking for the answer, for a sign that she was still here. Although, similar to Miles, I can take great pride in knowing that just like Alaska forgives him for his transgressions, Linsey forgives me of mine.

What would I say to her?

A picture flashed on my computer screen. A very small girl about three years old. That small girl was me. Eyes brightened with a zeal for life and a heart still vibrant as ever. If I could have warned that little girl about the struggles she would endure, how would it be that I could tell her such things without breaking her eager spirit.
      How would I explain to her that gettin' glasses seemed like the end of the world but really opened up her world beyond belief. It gave her the ability to see details, words, and pictures. What would I tell her when her favorite cat boots got ran over by the neighbors pick up. Would I tell her about an even bigger loss that would occur later in her life or would I simply remind her to continue to love God's creatures equally.
     What about telling her to stay strong during what seemed like a mini-vacation to live with her grandma. Would I have told her about how her Mom always cared but circumstances dictated her life at that moment. Would I detour to tell her that forgiving him would be the hardest thing, but forgiving him of all his wrongdoing is what would ultimately set her free from his reign.
   Would I know how to spoil her teen years. Would I have been able to paint such vivid pictures of Spain in her mind. At that point, she wouldn't have even known other places existed. Would I be able to prepare her for the beginning struggle with her weight? Could I have protected her from self redicule. I couldn't and still wouldn't even if I could.

The things I could confidently tell her is that even in lives darkest moments, never forget to have hope. Hope that tomorrow will be better, hope that life will continue on, hope that love and support will never be far from her. To BE COURAGEOUS! To not let the small lamb inside be triumphed by overabundant lions, and to sometimes be the leader of the pride. To let her voice soar, to scream when she needs to, to laugh without tryin' to control it, to speak out against injustice and to speak up about passion and love. I would tell her to stand tall, to shine, to be an adventurer, a dreamer, and a passionate lover of life. I would tell her that no matter what gets thrown at her, that she will survive, because when she looks in a mirror into my eyes she will still there! 

You are my fairy tale

I am sure that phrase doesn't suit you anymore. Somedays, your more like a nightmare. The blissfulness once shared is now the pitfall of my lonely heart. Why must we encourage fairy tales? Why do we let magic and mystery rule such a simple act such as love.

Maybe because LOVE can be defined so many different ways, it not only emotionally elicits feelings of grandeur but physically makes our bodies feel better. It takes away insecurities and heightens our sense of awareness.

I write romance novels. I love the way my characters can torture each other down to the depths of their souls but in the end in a miraculous fate they find out that they are better together than as single units. Right now Cade Crawley is waitin' for the stubborn Emery Dixon to realize that the outside world should not be were she draws validation of oneself but rather she should look within to find all her grand qualities. For Cade, Emery has become like a lighthouse, a refuge in a sea of chaos and despair. However, for Miss Dixon, love doesn't come so easily. Where did Love go wrong for her? Why must she make Cade fight to make it alright again?

You are my Cade Crawley, you've softly suggested that I give up lookin' for acceptance from the unknown world and find that from within. Yet, we haven't spoken in sometime and I do not feel like a phone call could properly thank you. A year ago, I believed you could be the one to rescue me, to save me from my own demise. I believed that you were sent to me, to remind me that laughter and smiles are perhaps the least accounted currency in ones lives and yet they bring the greatest joy. How is it that as perfect strangers we talked more than as friends? Maybe like most girls, I read only the lines I wanted to see, and left the unknown ones blurred.

If you ever come across this I want you to know that you reminded me what it was like to live. You reminded me that I still have a purpose and that purpose may be unclear to me but in due time it will unfold. You have a great adventure in front of you as well and I'm sorry that I wasn't meant to come along to help you when you've fallen. In my heart you'll always be my fairy tale but in my mind you might be the most tragic of missed opportunities.