Almost three years

Its been almost three years since my best friend left this world. Three years that I am amazed I survived. However, I know I have a huge support staff and somewhere deep inside this chamber of greatness. I'm not sure where it is located. I often think its in my heart but it could also be in my stubborn mind.

Three years ago I screamed that it was unfair. So unfair I thought I would go insane. While yes...at 20 years old no one should lose someone so close as a best friend. The person who can repeat your stories, who suggests the cutest hair cuts, and reminds you that he looks so good in wranglers.

However, as this summer has rolled on I have found out that my running shoes wont carry me away from my worries but they can help drift me away for a few blocks. My tennis shoes are customized to my Alma Mater. A school that has seen its fair share of devestations. From the loss of a head football coach to natural weather disasters its a school of people who never give up. And its not even Division 1.

In those four years just like these last three I have seen tremendous growth. I have come out of wanting to hide my writing. I have found this love for it well beyond words. In the past three years I have realized that some people need you more than you need them. I found out that your hero can become one of your friends.

If Linsey Kay Nelson was here I know she would be smiling. She was always smiling. She would be proud of the weight I've lost. Planning what our future apartment would look like in Texas and probably still be singing along to The Wreckers. If she was here I know the tears I shed would be few but it's no longer such an unfair thing.

For the twelve years I got with her. Trump a lot. I got to teach her about bull riding. She taught me thats life's a dance (believe me I am truly dancing now). She reminded me how important family is and that being different is being extraordinarily you.

Sept 12th, 2011 marks three years. Three years of butterfly gazing, self doubting, and heartache. However, this year I won't be crying about the facts that I won't ever go to her wedding or see her and a certain cowboy have babies. I will rejoice at the fact that I got to see her glowing smile for 12 years. I will be rejoicing with teddy grahams and root beer. I might even have a mike's for her.

I can't be mad anymore...Like Eli Young Band says...Life at best is a struggle because it makes other moments so much more beautiful.

I have met some of the greatest people in this life. Some of them have definitely changed me. So here is to happiness. To becoming the women God meant for me to be. For taking the high road. THIS IS FOR A GIRL WHO ALWAYS KNEW I WAS DESTINED FOR GREATNESS! I WONT LET YOU DOWN. I PROMISE GOD AND YOU THAT I WILL DO GREAT THINGS!

God Bless