So, I am 23 and I have been single for 7 years and counting! That is a long time. I have had chances and havent jumped at the chances for various reasons. However, there are a few guys I am so glad that we never jumped over the friend zone. I know...you are all laughin' at me at this point. Why would I be happy that cute guys didnt want to be my boyfriend?
I am happy because I will always have a piece of their heart. I also have their trust. They are cool with breaking down and telling me whats truly wrong. I am someone they see as noble, trustworthy. Something that cant be ruined by time coming in between us.
There is three who means the most to me and I am sure 2 of them know who they are. I wish guys could be optimistic about the friend zone thing.
While yes, I cannot wait to be in love. As a romance writer I dream of having that undeniable can't let you go kind of love...I am also honored to be such a strong woman that guys respect my opinions, ideas, and truths.
So, the next time someone friend zones you Smile...because they obviously think your pretty darn awesome.
Blessings and Well Wishes
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Scars
Well all have those obvious, outward scars...some of us more than others. The same goes for the internal scars.
Each of them leave a lasting mark, a story, and those dreadful moments some would love to forget. I guess I wanted to start this blog off by saying that I have no intention of pointing blame to anyone. For my internal scars have all be cultivated and healed. Thanks to my Lord and Savior. I suppose what I am writin' this blog for is to help prevent others internal scars from being ripped back open or from happening.
I see a hell of a lot more bullying these days. From simply pickin on someone because of the way they look, a handicap, or for the shear pain it is wrong! YOU DO NOT REACH THE TOP BY DEGRADING SOMEONE ELSE!
I can't be spotless, I have probably said things when I shouldn't...but I have to say I've risen above a lot of the bullyin' I was faced with. Not only because I knew God...My maker saw me as a beautifully created thing but because I knew I was stronger and had a lot more to give.
I am currently embarking on slowly writing bits of my autobiography before I lose it. To say my story is only slightly tattered would be an understatement. However, while I can look at my scars as pure reminders of places I never want to return others constantly feed on the darkness that has been brought out in them.
Now, I am an individual in life who has always friended the weary. Maybe, I do so because I know how to relate or rather I hope that they can learn from me and see that they are more than the tattered pieces or parts of their story.
So, remember that everythin' you say to someone can, in the wrong context, hurt them. It can set off a trigger that you may or may not know about. It is not funny to laugh at someone becuase of the scars butto remind them that while the road of life can become complicated and hard to endure...that they have the strength to see the beauty in it. That beyond the healin scars and scar filled stories is really somethin rather wonderful. It is compiling said scars that has helped me realize the simple beauty life has. Although at times I fall into the darkness I am forever grateful for the people in my life who can make me smile and remind me that this is just yet another detour on the highway I call life.
Blessings and well wishes to you all. May you conquer the scars and become the person you want to be.
Each of them leave a lasting mark, a story, and those dreadful moments some would love to forget. I guess I wanted to start this blog off by saying that I have no intention of pointing blame to anyone. For my internal scars have all be cultivated and healed. Thanks to my Lord and Savior. I suppose what I am writin' this blog for is to help prevent others internal scars from being ripped back open or from happening.
I see a hell of a lot more bullying these days. From simply pickin on someone because of the way they look, a handicap, or for the shear pain it is wrong! YOU DO NOT REACH THE TOP BY DEGRADING SOMEONE ELSE!
I can't be spotless, I have probably said things when I shouldn't...but I have to say I've risen above a lot of the bullyin' I was faced with. Not only because I knew God...My maker saw me as a beautifully created thing but because I knew I was stronger and had a lot more to give.
I am currently embarking on slowly writing bits of my autobiography before I lose it. To say my story is only slightly tattered would be an understatement. However, while I can look at my scars as pure reminders of places I never want to return others constantly feed on the darkness that has been brought out in them.
Now, I am an individual in life who has always friended the weary. Maybe, I do so because I know how to relate or rather I hope that they can learn from me and see that they are more than the tattered pieces or parts of their story.
So, remember that everythin' you say to someone can, in the wrong context, hurt them. It can set off a trigger that you may or may not know about. It is not funny to laugh at someone becuase of the scars butto remind them that while the road of life can become complicated and hard to endure...that they have the strength to see the beauty in it. That beyond the healin scars and scar filled stories is really somethin rather wonderful. It is compiling said scars that has helped me realize the simple beauty life has. Although at times I fall into the darkness I am forever grateful for the people in my life who can make me smile and remind me that this is just yet another detour on the highway I call life.
Blessings and well wishes to you all. May you conquer the scars and become the person you want to be.
Friday, January 20, 2012
My Hero
So, this blog may shock or even surprise people. I hope it does neither but opens up some eyes on some things.
So, to start off my family has no member in the military serving...I don't know how hard it is for deployments or anything of that sort. Although, recently I might a veteran. Let's say this veteran and I enjoy talking to each other, we both dig professional bull riding and he happens to look like my best friends who passed away favorite bull rider. He even has the same first name.
So, some of you may think I am crazy for calling this guy I know very little about my hero. However, I know little about a lot of historical people but still feel like the grounds they stood on gave them hero qualities.
He is my hero because he was willing to go fight for my dreams without even knowing me. He took a bullet in the back for me...for us all. He is now home and being a productive member of society and wants to work hard to make this country great again.
While, he doesn't have a clean wrap sheet, what he sees as his downfall is overshadowed by his bravery and commitment.
He isn't my only hero. All the men and women fighting in the armed forces are. I mean for someone to sacrafice so much for me...how could I not hold them to such high esteem.
I suppose what I WANT FROM YOU IS TO RESPECT THEM WHEN THEY MAKE IT HOME, AND PRAY FOR THEIR LOVED ONES WHEN THEY DON'T. THEY ARE THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE AMERICA "Land of the free, home of the brave."
When you run into a Veteran don't ask them about their story. Thank them for their service and duty. Remember that even though one battle is done, they have a bigger one left to do here. Give them the RESPECT they deserve.
Remember, Freedom isn't free. It comes at the cost of bloodshed and tears. DO NOT TAKE YOUR FREEDOM FOR Granted because there are some people wishing they had it but has no one to fight for it.
Thank you and God Bless
So, to start off my family has no member in the military serving...I don't know how hard it is for deployments or anything of that sort. Although, recently I might a veteran. Let's say this veteran and I enjoy talking to each other, we both dig professional bull riding and he happens to look like my best friends who passed away favorite bull rider. He even has the same first name.
So, some of you may think I am crazy for calling this guy I know very little about my hero. However, I know little about a lot of historical people but still feel like the grounds they stood on gave them hero qualities.
He is my hero because he was willing to go fight for my dreams without even knowing me. He took a bullet in the back for me...for us all. He is now home and being a productive member of society and wants to work hard to make this country great again.
While, he doesn't have a clean wrap sheet, what he sees as his downfall is overshadowed by his bravery and commitment.
He isn't my only hero. All the men and women fighting in the armed forces are. I mean for someone to sacrafice so much for me...how could I not hold them to such high esteem.
I suppose what I WANT FROM YOU IS TO RESPECT THEM WHEN THEY MAKE IT HOME, AND PRAY FOR THEIR LOVED ONES WHEN THEY DON'T. THEY ARE THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE AMERICA "Land of the free, home of the brave."
When you run into a Veteran don't ask them about their story. Thank them for their service and duty. Remember that even though one battle is done, they have a bigger one left to do here. Give them the RESPECT they deserve.
Remember, Freedom isn't free. It comes at the cost of bloodshed and tears. DO NOT TAKE YOUR FREEDOM FOR Granted because there are some people wishing they had it but has no one to fight for it.
Thank you and God Bless
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Just Imagine
So..I am sure some of us can recall rather hazy pictures of playing dress-up or other imagination type games as a kid. I know my neighborhood would be full of kids to play house, cops and robbers, or any other game we could think up on those blissfully perfect spring, summer, and fall days. I remember when I was younger, in grade school in particular, when our teachers told us we could be anything we wanted to be. Even our parents would chime in about the possibilities.
I suppose this is were I go a tad off topic and laugh. My parents tell everyone that the only reason they helped put me through four years of college was because at 5 I proclaimed to them with such zeal that I would be a doctor...or something in said medical field. By eight I am sure is when my dad recalls me talking about being a surgeon and I remember his disappointment years down the road when I no longer wanted to be that. When I told my parents I wanted to be a Physical Therapist they were thoroughly supportive. They still are. But over 500.00 in applying to PT schools and I don't think my parents see it. When they told me at 8 years old that I could wear the letters DPT. They didn't tell me or know perhaps the struggle, they told me to just imagine.
At fourteen I feel in love with bull riding. A sport my parents still find to either be a waste of my time or just a sick obsession I have. It's this sport that has over the years given me strength to carry on through the darkness...I know I have said that a countless number of times on this blog. When I told my mom I wanted to work for Dr. Tandy Freeman someday she just smiled. She told me to hold on to it but if I had to settle remember not to be disappointed. When I didn't get accepted into Texas State my own mom didn't even hug me. She just told me that I needed to look for other options.
Still, I being rather a hardcore Dreamer feel confident in my dreams of being a DPT. I "Just Imagine" how school will be when I finally break through. I imagine how thrilling and exciting it all will be. I get nervous about taking the boards and finding a job but then I remember my deep desires and I push past the nervousness and continue to move forward.
Two years ago now I was in Sports Psychology. I loved that class. Saying love is almost an understatement. One chapter I loved with Visualization. In this chapter it taught us to recall moments every aspect of moments: the sights, smells, taste, textures....it applied to relieving the good moments and throwing out the bad moments or rather for an athlete blocking bad performances and repeating the good.
When times get tough I Imagine myself conquering and fulfilling my dreams; They call that positive visualization. So, I suppose what I am tryin' to get at is when the moments get tough or you feel like your dreams are about to get rain over by a train....JUST IMAGINE. Like I tell all my bull ridin' friends...and you can even ask Jordan Hupp and Mckennon Wimberly. To be the best you not only have to work hard, but you must VISUALIZE AND EXPECT TO WIN!
God Bless
I suppose this is were I go a tad off topic and laugh. My parents tell everyone that the only reason they helped put me through four years of college was because at 5 I proclaimed to them with such zeal that I would be a doctor...or something in said medical field. By eight I am sure is when my dad recalls me talking about being a surgeon and I remember his disappointment years down the road when I no longer wanted to be that. When I told my parents I wanted to be a Physical Therapist they were thoroughly supportive. They still are. But over 500.00 in applying to PT schools and I don't think my parents see it. When they told me at 8 years old that I could wear the letters DPT. They didn't tell me or know perhaps the struggle, they told me to just imagine.
At fourteen I feel in love with bull riding. A sport my parents still find to either be a waste of my time or just a sick obsession I have. It's this sport that has over the years given me strength to carry on through the darkness...I know I have said that a countless number of times on this blog. When I told my mom I wanted to work for Dr. Tandy Freeman someday she just smiled. She told me to hold on to it but if I had to settle remember not to be disappointed. When I didn't get accepted into Texas State my own mom didn't even hug me. She just told me that I needed to look for other options.
Still, I being rather a hardcore Dreamer feel confident in my dreams of being a DPT. I "Just Imagine" how school will be when I finally break through. I imagine how thrilling and exciting it all will be. I get nervous about taking the boards and finding a job but then I remember my deep desires and I push past the nervousness and continue to move forward.
Two years ago now I was in Sports Psychology. I loved that class. Saying love is almost an understatement. One chapter I loved with Visualization. In this chapter it taught us to recall moments every aspect of moments: the sights, smells, taste, textures....it applied to relieving the good moments and throwing out the bad moments or rather for an athlete blocking bad performances and repeating the good.
When times get tough I Imagine myself conquering and fulfilling my dreams; They call that positive visualization. So, I suppose what I am tryin' to get at is when the moments get tough or you feel like your dreams are about to get rain over by a train....JUST IMAGINE. Like I tell all my bull ridin' friends...and you can even ask Jordan Hupp and Mckennon Wimberly. To be the best you not only have to work hard, but you must VISUALIZE AND EXPECT TO WIN!
God Bless
Sunday, January 15, 2012
The Good Stuff
Much like the more popular Kenny Chesney song...I want to take time to remind people that the good stuff isn't a pile of money or a shot of Jack. The good stuff is something much smaller. Much more meaningful. The good stuff is the laughter from the little kids that are either yours or someone Else's but it warms you heart just the same. The Good stuff is that line in your favorite song that can always take you back to those moments with your best friend on a summer drive to no where. The Good Stuff is waiting so long but finally seeing a movie and it being what you expected or hoped for. The Good Stuff is going through photographs and reliving the moments.
The Good stuff is being surrounded by your family on momentous occasions such as graduations, weddings, or simply game nights. It's the stuff that can always make you smile such as your favorite flower, sport, or painting. It is those simple pleasures that are always held within the dimensions of your heart. It's the kind of things that you don't recall as often as you should. It's the stuff that gets scattered and shuffled behind busy schedules and endless doubts.
The Good stuff is not easily found but it is easily felt. Such as the smile of someone you are married to, crushing on, or beginning something with. The Good stuff is hearing that not only do you have beautiful eyes and kissable lips, but you have a golden soul. The Good stuff is seeing the pride on your parents face when you achieve things you've talked about for many years.
The Good stuff is a book and candle light to unwind. The good stuff is those slobbery kisses from your favorite four legged friend or the nuzzle from your hoofed ride. The Good Stuff can be debated by many but it is loved by all. What is the good stuff for me may not be for others but the feeling is the same across the board.
The Good Stuff puts a smile on our heart before it can ever be seen on our face. That good old good stuff is the memories and the moments that remind us of the best things in life when we sometimes are not sure how to carry on. So, What's your good stuff?
The Good stuff is being surrounded by your family on momentous occasions such as graduations, weddings, or simply game nights. It's the stuff that can always make you smile such as your favorite flower, sport, or painting. It is those simple pleasures that are always held within the dimensions of your heart. It's the kind of things that you don't recall as often as you should. It's the stuff that gets scattered and shuffled behind busy schedules and endless doubts.
The Good stuff is not easily found but it is easily felt. Such as the smile of someone you are married to, crushing on, or beginning something with. The Good stuff is hearing that not only do you have beautiful eyes and kissable lips, but you have a golden soul. The Good stuff is seeing the pride on your parents face when you achieve things you've talked about for many years.
The Good stuff is a book and candle light to unwind. The good stuff is those slobbery kisses from your favorite four legged friend or the nuzzle from your hoofed ride. The Good Stuff can be debated by many but it is loved by all. What is the good stuff for me may not be for others but the feeling is the same across the board.
The Good Stuff puts a smile on our heart before it can ever be seen on our face. That good old good stuff is the memories and the moments that remind us of the best things in life when we sometimes are not sure how to carry on. So, What's your good stuff?
Friday, January 13, 2012
Jump with me....A poem
I want to open your eyes
I want to see you smile
I want the days before I see you to fly by
I want the nights to be decreased by miles
I want to hold your hand
I want to feel your kiss
I want to walk with you in the sand
I want those moments that can’t be missed
I want to be in your arms
I want to feel your warm breath
I want to be lost in your charm
I want to be with you so don’t forget
I want to tease you
I want to need you
I want to capture you
I want to freeze you
I want to live for love
I want to die for loss
I want our hearts to soar
I want us to not be at war
I want these things
These things I do want
For it is you who entices me
It is me who intrigues you
So what are we waiting for?
What is there to lose?
Thursday, January 12, 2012
A Beautiful story from the wreckage
I am going to go off randomly on this small exercept of my autobiography I suppose. Off the chart to not focus to much of the story at hand but rather explain to you how I have come to the conclusion on my life outlook. My life outlook is to find a beautiful story from/ among the wreckage.
I could recall, and just deleted multiple paragraphs depeciting some of the darkness moments in my life. I suppose the night I wrote them the tears and pain were what drove me to write those lines. However, I am a write who writes what she believes and I didn't believe that my pity party was truthful enough to explain this said philospy.
What those paragraph's reperesented was my hearts anger towards those blackened moments of my life. The moments that for some reason my heart has merely blocked and my heart has caged. As I wrote those lines it didn't feel any less uncaged so to say. However, as I write these lines...I feel this beautiful philopsy spinning inside my head and smile.
I have gone through lots of things: I have a hard time mentioning being 16 and touched and kissed by your boyfriend as being rape, but when I did wake up and noticed him touching me in ways I didn't want, I feel its mental hold sometimes. I have lost my best friend in a car accident. As a child I had promises broken. I have fallen for guys only to get it shoved back and forgotten. I can ramble on about scrapping my knee riding my bike and all kinds of stuff people classify as mentally grueling but I won't because I KNOW SOME PEOPLE HAVE IT WORSE THAN I DO! So it is why I want to give them a little ounce...maybe a glimpse at Hope.
I think that moments in life that don't go your way or lead you into darkness are just rough patches that you beautiful story must detour through. Said detours have the ability to make us or break us. I want you to not Break , but TO MAKE YOU STRONGER. For as I have grown up I have realized more beauty in my life than pain. I have seen many more smiles, than tears (even if 2011 did catch up on the tear count).
So, if you feel like there is no where to go. There is. Turn to your story and tell the detour that this is only temporary and you are only one small part of MY BEAUTIFUL STORY!
SMILE, HUGS, AND BLESSINGS! WE CAN DO IT! WE CAN MAKE IT!
I could recall, and just deleted multiple paragraphs depeciting some of the darkness moments in my life. I suppose the night I wrote them the tears and pain were what drove me to write those lines. However, I am a write who writes what she believes and I didn't believe that my pity party was truthful enough to explain this said philospy.
What those paragraph's reperesented was my hearts anger towards those blackened moments of my life. The moments that for some reason my heart has merely blocked and my heart has caged. As I wrote those lines it didn't feel any less uncaged so to say. However, as I write these lines...I feel this beautiful philopsy spinning inside my head and smile.
I have gone through lots of things: I have a hard time mentioning being 16 and touched and kissed by your boyfriend as being rape, but when I did wake up and noticed him touching me in ways I didn't want, I feel its mental hold sometimes. I have lost my best friend in a car accident. As a child I had promises broken. I have fallen for guys only to get it shoved back and forgotten. I can ramble on about scrapping my knee riding my bike and all kinds of stuff people classify as mentally grueling but I won't because I KNOW SOME PEOPLE HAVE IT WORSE THAN I DO! So it is why I want to give them a little ounce...maybe a glimpse at Hope.
I think that moments in life that don't go your way or lead you into darkness are just rough patches that you beautiful story must detour through. Said detours have the ability to make us or break us. I want you to not Break , but TO MAKE YOU STRONGER. For as I have grown up I have realized more beauty in my life than pain. I have seen many more smiles, than tears (even if 2011 did catch up on the tear count).
So, if you feel like there is no where to go. There is. Turn to your story and tell the detour that this is only temporary and you are only one small part of MY BEAUTIFUL STORY!
SMILE, HUGS, AND BLESSINGS! WE CAN DO IT! WE CAN MAKE IT!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)